Now I want a surprise...

Every1 says m lucky dat everything s settled here n i dont hav 2 bother abt nething...Bt y dont people understand dat dey r lucky dat dey get things watever n wenever dey want wich i nvr get...Yes m lucky dat no1 has complains abt my decisions...

Now u started a topic n asked me to keep it secret...Suddenly i ws excited 2 kno n thought may b m goin 2 hear dat long long awaited good news from you...So my expectations raised n d more u were asking me to keep it secret d more i ws getting sure dat yess it cud b dat gud news u r gonna say me....Bt at last dat also became wrong...

But now its nough f waiting...Day by day m getting impatient...God is there ne end???

Will u b evr back to me???If evr u'll b back den will I b alive dere 2 c u again???

If accepting u late ws my fault, den God dey say every mistake hs an excuse if u promise dat u r nt gonna do it again...N i've promised for dat long long long ago...If waiting is a punishment givn 2 me for my fault den i wud say I feel it it s evn harder dan death...bcos death s just an instance f tym whereas waiting here s a period f tym...Dey say dey'll wait for their loved ones for life long...Me says if life s only meant for waiting den where does the real essence f life lies???May b m stubborn bt I want my loved 1 here now only...I want 2 spend n njoy every moment f my life with U...

Solitude: a sweet absence of looks...

When everyone leaves you it’s loneliness you feel, when you leave everyone else it’s solitude

Now its complete lonliness here which has silently rushed into life...U were nvr here...N nw all my frns hav also left..Pooh,whom i nvr wanted 2 go too far away frm me hs already left long back...n now Sradha hs left 4 Pune yesterday n Rupa too hs left 4 Bangalore 2day...All hv found dere own way f living life...bt m here...

Just a few days back i found som real good frns Swathi n Arjun...N i found dem too good...I found a bit f Pooh inside Swathi...Bt b4 we cud spend some real good times God deprived me of doin dat too..B4 I started havin som dreams abt our frnshp...dey were back to Bangalore...I really wished I could atlyst meet dem b4 dey go back...Bt God I cudnt...Bt nehw I'll meet dem again...Cos out f all training mates I like Swathi,Dinesh n Arjun...Cos dey are really frns in need...Hope u'll help me...

Now wen I think of sharing my thoughts even...I find no1 otherdan solitude which madens me every now n den...God I feel like dying dere bt Ohh nohhh I've 2 relive my life again n again just 4 U...I really wanna C u...

You say I shudnt cry bcos back @ hom I've Mama n Baba 2 look aftr me...Bt U nvr understand dat U r nt here...Soul says no1 otherdan U can hear it wen it cries...Yes I hate wen u console me saying "dont cry,cos U r wid ur Mama n Baba"...It really weally irritates me...Hw cant u understand every1 hv their own importance!!!Oh God I feel like only m missing U not U...

I kno m bad...M nt into a good place...M ugly...M fat...Bt m I dat bad dat U dont wanna com back 2 me!!!Hav U ever thought f coming back seriously???God y dont u make me impressive dat he comes back...Ohk leave it..Hav u evr thought f Maa n Bapa???Do U kno hw much dey r seeking 4 U???Yes Dear...every1 here s hoping U 2 com back...

I kno though its abt 2 complete 2 yrs n 5 months f our relationship...Bt Baba nvr talked 2 U frm his side...I kno U feel bad abt it...Mama wants 2 talk 2 U bt its all matter f time n medium f communication...Baba s nt dat open like Bapa n Maa...Baba s a bit conservative...Somtyms evn i feel scared God wat perception U have abt dem...Bt tym will say U dat dey like U d most...Yes dey like you though dey dont discuss abt U infront f me much...Neways me too waiting for rite tym....U kno dey r equally worried about U...Mama asks me about U always...

Its hurts me more wen ne1 asks me "Wenis He comming???"...I try 2 make myself busy in other craps...Bt everytym som1 or other keeps on asking me d same qns...N @ dat very moment I feel like teased by tym n universe again n again...N m tired off answering dat qns...I've now decided 2 keep quite on dat qns...Cos I hav lost all my hopes...Evn I dont trust tym now...Cos everytym m tryin 2 stand on d Sun it starts teasing me ...U hav no answer so U r a fool...Yesss m fooled...n my everyday is same as the day passed...Nothing new..,N its gonna b worst d very next day...

Ohh God gimme more strength to stand on all dose upcoming even worse situation...

Oh my soul...

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

...I heard it again n again.. Dont kno y.. bt it touched my heart..n i felt as if each n every moment f my past rolling infront f me..n i had no way other dan watching it silently wid a smile on face..oh my god i dint notice bt for a while i ws crying..Crying not bcos it is gone..bt thinking f all dose good things happened to me only bcos f u..hw wud life hav been widout y dear...I lifted up my spirits everytym wen i ws down...Ur words will always b boosting me up...

Its all bcos f u my dear...

Chocolate Day...

Yess I miss you n i missed you even more today wen i ws craving for a chocolate from u bt i dint get 1...Yeah i kno its silly n stupid.. bt i felt like dat...

I hav taken it for granted dat as m born on Saturday...So i wont get ne thing simply as i wish...n u being d most precious gift God hs gifted me..How com i cud expect u 2 b wid me so soon!!!I have 2 wait n yes i'll wait till death.Bt 1nce u com i'll pray death 2 go far away frm me cos den i wud struggle wid tym 2 stop dere...N i'll njoy every bit f u...Bt i dont wanna de b4 dat...

I cant stand dis "Extreme Of Isolation" nemore...N i really need som good tym...Oh God do i really deserve nething good???

Waiting for a chocolate same day next year...